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  3. October 2, 2004
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Discussion - Drug Use amongst Gays
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Miami-In 1996/1997 I met the most amazing guy! He was cute, smart, etc. and most importantly the love of my life. We moved to Miami in 1997 and initialy, things were great; however, he started hanging out with some new "friends" that were into T. Shortly after that, he became all consumed with T along with G, C and the whole fucking alphabet, but primarily T. Even though he still loved me and so did I...I couldn't hang around and see how he became a fucking T whore, LITERALLY! What a waste...yet another life T took. :(
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Is it me, or does it seem that the boys have been more responsible lately? I've seen a lot fewer being carried out at the Circuit parties.
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I say it's definitely each person's own business to experiment and or use drugs, whatever the drug use some discretion and moderation. G is the most fantastic thing that was ever discovered on this planet if you're wondering. I would love to find it here. Other chems are fine, but no comparison to a great swirl!
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Ok, first I have to say that I am not telling people to go out and use T, but I do want to state my humble opinion. I started using T about 2 years ago out in Palm Springs. I was 31, got into it really late, and since I'm slightly ADD, it was amazing... take you right to that point of everything going at the same time. And that was my downfall. It got really bad, to where the friends that I had, had to snap me out of it and I went to counceling. (I should note that those friendships did not survive the ordeal). I didnt do any more for several months, but then I started, very little and nothing like before, just when I went out. Today, I feel that its controllable, and I haven't done anything in god about 6-9 months. When I do, its only a bump or two for the entire night. The problem, in my opinion, is that the people who are having a real problem with it, and spiral down out of control, have some real issues that go much deaper than just their T use. Looking back now, I realized my issues and dealt with most of them (there are still a few left). My opionion is that if someone can catch themselves and address the underlying issues, it is entirely possible to use T in a way that is not self-destructive, but this is really a delicate balance. Of course, my opinion doesn't address any of the other issues of health and all the other factors that people may not think about.
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"CRYSTAL brings out so much HATE in a person. It can take a BEAUTIFUL SOUL and turn it into your WORST NIGHTMARE. It is life's worst enemy." - A meth addict's partner. I hear Hitler too enjoyed the use of methamphetamines as did the majority of his Nazi troops. Look - these "Tina" users, gay men, are being completely deceived by the makers of this deadly drug. It is not a life of glamour, fun, happiness and being "true to the emotions." It is a life of demise, loneliness, sadness and illness. An empt soul, the walking dead is the end result. I've seen it on the face of many. And as gay men, we should be fighting against those things which deceive us in an attempt to bring our culture down and destroy us. Yet we are all fooled by it's glorious allure. Someone writes "OF THE MANY REASONS I had UNSAFE SEX while high on crystal, I think the most PROFOUND was simply that I was LONELY. Meth got me CLOSE to men at clubs and in bed. And UNSAFE sex allowed me the DEEPEST CONNECTION possible." We are being raped of our self-worth and respect by Tina. She is NOT a friendly girl. Cold eyes, empty glances across dead air of the dance floor, clenched jaws and an intense negativity is what Tina brings to those who enjoy her company. We should find other joys in life besides random, senseless acts of suicide.
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Are you out of your mind???????? ("I give T two thumbs up but not in this present health crisis";) CRYSTAL kills and I know for a fact that the majority of people who are "Tina Addicts" eventually fall. What the comment about giving ?T two thumbs up? reveals is a simple denial of the reality: Tina is a drug that is killing not only the gay community but also the Los Angeles party scene at large. You can usually detect the "Tina addicts" with their unhappy sad faces (yes, they are crying inside but won't admit it.) with anger and a darker, edgier bent. I mean, at most circuit parties they no longer play "happy music" because the DJs want to instead cater to the T and G crowd who all they care about is noise to get them to no-where-land. Tina definitely robs people's souls. Yes, there's a health crisis and I have another friend who continued to use T and eventually got HIV due to his unprotected sex at circuit parties. But as I mentioned, there are more problems than just this "health crisis". Even without a "health crisis" (i.e. HIV) there are still many other PROBLEMS associated with T. A friend of mine entered a program to help stop drinking alcohol that was causing him lots of problems, and he did stop. But the majority of the people in his program were crystal freaks, and most of them did not stop using T and were on the way down (i.e., lost jobs, lost apt./home, friends, etc.) Most of these people had MAJOR SELF-ESTEEM issues and always had to "use" to avoid being "wall flowers". Believe me, you don't need T to stop being a wallflower. So you are kidding yourself by giving T two thumbs up: CRYSTAL SUCKS because CRYSTAL KILLS! Reality bites ... METH=DEATH
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I've visited sex clubs at least 100 times, but only had 3 experiences that blew my mind. All 3 involved using Crystal I was given by someone I met at the club. The parties involved knew exactly what they were doing, because they were seeking a slut willing to do whatever they and their friends wanted. Without T, I am a sex club wallflower. I stand there watching all this action and wishing I had the courage to get down and dirty like most of the guys I see. But I don't want to die, so I do hardly anything. Well, on 3 occasions, Crystal turned me into the slut I really want to be. Luckily I survived with my health in tact, but I never had more fun in my life. I can't hate on Crystal, because it's exactly what a guy like me needs to loosen up. Without Crystal, this will never happen for me. I've decided however, that with HIV out there; being out of control is a death sentence so I don't use T anymore right now. However, honestly, if I can figure out a way to create my own sex club, where everyone admitted is proven to be STD free thru a strict protocol; I would use T and alcohol with abandon. This type of sex club is something that I am eventually going to create. I've decided it's wiser for me to create such a venue, rather than keep on visiting established sex clubs that truly belong in another era (the 70's) and will probably kill me eventually. Many gay men love to be stimulated by the wild and orgiastic atmosphere of sex clubs. I can't hate on this, because it seems completely natural to me for men to be this way, especially gay men. Also sex clubs are a social safe haven for gay men, because there is no doubt everyone you meet there is pretty much just like you. Sex clubs are in my opinion, a necessary evil. However, sex clubs have to be the greatest threat to and vector for killing our gay family. These businesses have to change their method of operation. Protecting the health of patrons is not as profitable as the pay as you go, buyer beware attitude of the sex club owners. But these people must have a lot of blood on their hands by now. To sum this up, I give "T" two thumbs up but not in this present health crisis. In my opinion T is just the next stage in "gay poppers." Even the most rigid antidrug gay guys, will sometimes use poppers to heighten sexual excitement.
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I know exactly what Joe means. I am recovering myself. In the middle of all the partying I forgot that I came here to LA with a dream to succeed, that i have goals in life. I do miss the boys, the parties, the sex with T.... but I also miss my old self, and that was what made me stop. It's been hard but it's slowly getting better. Life has enough problems, don't add to it. Take care and hope this helps.
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better? really? I thought it was worse. All I see when I go out are guys strung out on something, especially at After-Hours clubs.
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Is it me, or does it seem like things aren't as bad as they were a year ago?
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it does matter when all it takes is one time to cause major damage to the brain. this damage can cause a person to have parkinsons disase, anxiety, depression, loss of speech. why on earth would you want to experiment with something that is illegal, especailly when it causes irreversable damage. just plain stupid but of course most people dont think before they act
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Doesn't matter if you are gay or not. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with experimenting and have fun on a social basis. As long as its not a habit and you do it safely and are responsible. I know to some people that sounds "crazy", cuz drugs are "evil".. just know the risks vers. the upside before you sniff, smoke or whatever..
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I am a recovering meth user. It has been very hard to stop because my meth use was connected with sex. I never used meth (Tina) outside the context of sex. I knew I was in very deep trouble the very first time I used it. There are people who argue "You just don't know how to party." I guess they're right, but I am not going to keep practicing. Meth nearly killed me and led me to having very unsafe sex. I put myself and others at great risk for acquiring a host of STDs including herpes (the gift that keeps on giving) and HIV. When using I did stuff that I was very ashamed of later. I would have a plan before I started, but once Tina is in your system, all bets are off. You just do whatever feels good. Partying might be okay for non-professional guys who wait tables, work retail etc. But for a person with a career or educational aspirations, meth will fuck everything up. I have gone through rehab and have found that a 12 step program works for me. I don't use any more and am a much happier, more honest, and more grounded person. I wish there were more I could do to help young gay men stay away from meth. Meth is not pot. If you would never use heroine because it is "too dangerous", then stay the hell away from Tina. She will kill you faster than heroine.
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I have to say I find it strange that I see this topic here when the issue has been such a problem for so long. Being a member of AA and seeing how tragically drugs/alcohol ruin people and a community, I have to say that at times I think that it's beyond the point of trying to change it. When I finally sobered up I found myself separating myself from the gay community on a social level. I never much respected the image that West Hollywood puts out there but maybe with maturity and sobriety I have come to accept it though still not respect it. We all have our opinions and they are as different as people in this town but I will say and say strongly that the drug / alcohol problem is on it's way of bringing the gay community down to the level that middle America in the mid-west views us at already. So what if the expendable income is ours or the education level is higher with us...too many of us are nothing more than tweakers and drunks who mask our insecurities with this garbage. I fing myself fortunate to have seen my own demise and help myself and the one I love. I lost a good friend 1 year ago to these issues and none of us have the right to abuse ourselves to the point of death and hurt others who do care about us. Many times when I drive thru WeHo I often feel more and more distant and yearn to put down the flags and silliness and just be a normal guy...not str8 not gay...just a guy. Well, I am and I only saw that thru sobriety...guys...it's up to us to do this right because nobody else is going to blink twice at another epidemic in this community.
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I just moved here recently -Atlanta and Miami had their share of crackers, but the tina thing in la is tragic. Tina has changed the whole party dynamic...much nastier, unfriendlier scene than five years ago. If the G hasnt killed them yet, maybe the T will. Sad how many of my friends have dropped out over the years due to addiction.
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This topic saddens me and makes me lose hope in the gay community. Drugs are a direct insult and the ultimate disrespect for ones body and spirit. Does not the gay community have enough of a stigma to deal with. Why do we want to allow the world to add "druggies" to the long list of negative stereotypes already associated with us(need I remind you?)...... PEOPLE! Fight the powers that be and find strength and energy that your bodies naturally produce.
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Drug use (and alcohol use) is a given in just about all realms of society. We each - gay or straight - have the choice to decide what we put into our bodies and how frequently we do. As with just about anything that is pleasurable, addiction is a distinct possibility. As is observed by several individuals contributing to this topic, moderation is the key, an equilibrium if you will between need and want. If you're able to differentiate between the latter, you will know that "need" for a substance is a flag for you to halt and re-eval usage. Here's the really bad: We are on the verge of war and terrorism is a huge reality. Our spiritual circuit gatherings may be a convenient target of terrorism and the substances we may use, a convenient avenue for possible bio-threat. Let's be vigilant in HOW MUCH we put in our bodies, WHAT we put in our bodies, and most importantly, WHERE we congregate to celebrate at the Circuit. Times are changing and our attention to safety is required! Have fun - be aware - be safe!
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Check out lifeormeth.org
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I guess you go through phases with this issue. A few months ago I would have defended drug use as long as you're disciplined, as with alcohol. We can justify anything to ourselves if we want to. A few months ago I met a couple at Victor Calderon's Provocateur in NYC. There were both in there 20's, been together for three years and people were flocking to meet them because there were both beautiful and so friendly. I asked if i could take their picture when they're in LA and they agreed. Well, I guess you know where I am going with this with reference to the topic. Only one of them came back to LA last week to be with friends & family for support. All I have is this mental picture of them, hugging each other on that dance floor laughing and smiling having a great time. If only a had my camera then.
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Such a sad story
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Como esta Unidos of Americas? Pardon my Spanish, I've been watching too many water shows outside of The Bellagio. And, Wat! there were no mermaids and talking fish, hmm... Back to your question. Frankly, natural high is the best and the only way to get rid of unnecessary accessories. Glad to help, Sherlock Pebote Global Physician, ICU
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