Being over 40 at any level in life is JUST WONDERFUL! Youth is wasted on the young! When one is a pre teen they think they know more than mom and dad! WRONG! When one is a teen they think it is cool to smoke, drink too much, and do stupid drugs. WRONG! When one gets past 21, please darlings, you are no longer a "boi" in any way shape or form. If you are over 30, get your act together, and stop acting like [and for God's sake dressing like you are still a teen!] When you reach 40 you need to make sure you have your 'ducks in a row' and not do too many stupid things. [meth]. If you are lucky enough to make it to 50 or 60, life has just begun! Time to travel, travel, travel, and enjoy the 'fruits' of your labor! The young beautiful guys around the world LOVE Americans over 40 - 50!!!! I have been to Brazil 10 times in the past 3 years!!! Those boys know how to "entertain" a true Gentleman! Bottom line, Sanker is way over 40!
Great article, great insight. I am like you, yet very different too. I lived a life in West Hollywood very similar to yours except I am straight and instead of dancing for money, I was dancing for fun just about every night at Rage or Micky's. I came to LA in '87 from a very closed-minded life in Connecticut. When I arrived in LA I was soon behind the bar at La Cage Aux Folles and later at Trunks. Talk about opening someone's eyes and mind! But back to your point.... I lived in LA for 9 years and I spent most of them partying and loving life -- especially club life. I had many more gay friends than straight, but always had a girlfriend for the sex. But nothing was more personally gratifying and confidence building than the free-flowing love, adoration, and friendship that West Hollywood gave to me as a young man in his 20's and early 30's. Honestly, if you could remove the sex from the definition of being gay, I was totally gay and loving every minute of it.
Now let's fast forward to today -- I am 44 years old, married, and raising two young kids in Orange County. Argh! I am a successful technology professional and a happy person. But let me say this -- all too often I find myself looking back on those WeHo days and really missing the festivity, freedom, happiness, and music. Just as the author of this article loved his glory days, I loved mine.
So how have I adjusted?? I indulge myself in building my own business and trying to give my kids the very best upbringing that I can. I still work out, but with less conviction, mainly due to time constraints. I got my first botox last week and will do a hair transplant this year to upgrade a moderately higher hairline. Yes, I am vain. But also realistic. I could easily fall into the trap of becoming a 44 year old IT professional raising a family in boring Orange County. But I refuse. In fact, I look forward to the day that I can take my own kids out to clubs. Crazy? Maybe. But the WeHo experience is permanently embedded in my heart and soul and I will never let it go. I just work harder and hope to create the freedom to once again dance and drink and socialize -- but more responsibly, of course. It's a difficult transition that I have made, but I honestly believe that I will never grow old unless I let myself grow old.
And please, don't interpret this as any kind of contrarian retort to the author of this great article. By all rights I too should be mellowing and embracing age. But I can't -- maybe because I am in straight, boring Orange County instead of the artistic, free spirited WeHo. Each of us must deal with age on our own terms. Perhaps being a single man in WeHo has more advantages than being a family man in OC -- who can say? Live your life, love your life, and remember that each day might be your last. And never forget that there is nothing more important to you than the people that are closest to you, no matter how old that you are!
Boy if you think you had to hang up your dancing shoes at 40 just wait until you are 50 and realize that you are more graceful and patient and much less quick to judge. You will start looking for those damn shoes and find out it is fun to hang out and even add some constructive drama to the scene.
In the context of things, does this subject even deserve an article? Or comments? What am I even doing here? It's almost as frivolous as saying "look! pretty puffy pink clouds!" and then saying "oh no, the winds are blowing them away, what are we going to do?" Touching in kind of silly way. Has anyone seen a picture of the beautiful 16 year old girl who was burned beyond regonition? Lost her nose, eyelids, lips, ears (everything melted into one big glob) and still felt thankful that her life was saved? Her reason? She's thankful to have consciousness another day, so she can understand herself and her god on why she must endure this particular lesson.
Hell yeah! Great story, honest and direct and to the point. I'm 30 and a lot about the author reminds me of me. I hope that is me in ten years. Nice closing message to the greedy millionaire promoters too. I've been saying that for a while now...
Was that a one last 40 year old fling at White Party PS this year? Whats next, too old for pride too? Good ole Jeff Sanker is pushing, umm past 40, so are some of our favorite DJ's, (wont mention any offenders). Who will replace the aging promoters and DJ's if they just say, 40, thats it, i quit? Yes the body changes after 40 (i am there now and am feeling some of the effects) but sometimes the mind doesnt just 'shut off' when your odometer reads 0040. If you bodily feel your dead at 40 from your drug induced 20's and 30's, then by all means retire. I do agree with you at 40, reflections and new directions come into play, but man life isnt over, its just starting to get good. I think the younger gay men put a stigmatism on getting older, thats just sterotyping the ageism on their part, boowho, they will get there to, the aging process doesnt stop for the beautiful young gay men. (i get hit on by the 21 year olds all the time,they must like something about the 'older man'(not just the checkbook either). Its all in your mind and your attitude, at 40, if you can shake your booty faster and better than, (or lack of a better word, compete)the 20-30 somethings at circuit, then show it! until my body tells me that 'hey man, you have MS and you cant do this anymore', i'll keep dancing at 40+, gay men usually pair up relationship wise in their elder years anyway, looks fade (unless your best bud is also your plastic surgeon too), I always thought, your only as old as you feel. Good luck in retirement, i'll see you at your next favorite big one.
viva la circuit!
Great article, full of wise observations, however to be 40 doesn't "suck" Forty is a wonderful age. I had more fun, sex, and boyfriends in my forties- even more so than in my thirties. In my fifties and sixties I continued to have an active sex life, as well as romantic beautiful affairs and great friends and, yes, parties, clubs and bars, and now starting my seventies, I have to confess that I still party and have a very active social life and wonderful friends to travel with, attend shows, go out to dinner and frequent clubs. Yes, I feel that I have gotten rid of many of my demons, I don't do "one-night-stands" or drugs; but the party continues, and for that I'm thankful.